Delusions of Grandeur


Posted on: December 26, 2003

So we went to MGM yesterday and met up with Katie and Phil and had a blast. Trip is very adorable. We played the “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” game. The way it works is that the first thing is a fastest finger for the entire audience. After that the audience plays along with whoever is in the hotseat. When the person in the hotseat loses they pull the next person from whoever is highest ranked from answering the questions as we were playing along. Seth ended up being second one of the times which was pretty cool.

In the midst of all this MGM happiness I noticed that I had a missed call and a new voicemail so I checked my voicemail while we were waiting for one of the rides and it turned out to be my mother. I cannot begin to express how ever so happy I was to hear from her……my first thought was to wonder how on earth she got the number. After I thought about it for a while and suddenly it struck me that the only place it could have come from was my sister because nobody else would be crazy enough to give it to her. She said in her message that she would call me back today around 2 my time, but I still haven’t heard from her, which suits me just fine.

I’ve spent most of the day debating with myself whether I should answer it and risk a fight that’ll leave me shaking and upset (while she goes off, smokes a joint and promptly forgets about it) or if I should just not answer and risk her calling back again tomorrow and the next day and so forth until I finally break down and answer. My sister also gave her my Aunt and Uncle’s numbers so I’m guessing that something in her conversation with them led her to remember that I have absolutely no wish to ever speak to her again. Maybe not, maybe she just forgot that she didn’t speak to me yesterday……she’s delusional like that. I bet she’s made up a complete (pleasant) conversation in her mind and the next time fate decrees that I have to see her she’ll tell me all about the pleasant conversation we had and act confused over my hostility…….blah. Whatever the reason I’m glad she didn’t call.

Anyhow, now that I’ve ranted on here maybe I’ll be able to quit thinking about it. It drives me nuts that she can still affect me this way. I’ve been thinking about it pretty much non-stop since she called, imagining conversation scenarios in my head. I always think I’m past it until something like this comes up. Why can’t she just leave me alone? What on earth does it take for her to comprehend that I want nothing to do with her and that I’m not going to change my mind. I’m never giving her the opportunity to try and ruin my life again. See… I’m all upset again…..I’m going to go back to my IM’s with Katie and Angela, work on a bit more packing and try to forget this whole stupid mess…….


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