Delusions of Grandeur

Spending too much time thinking of a title….

Posted on: May 3, 2011

I couldn’t come up with an actual title to this post, so you’re stuck with what’s above.  Sorry.  I wanted to get this down so I would have actually written it instead of just thinking about writing it and instead spending all of my time trying to think of what to call it.  Suggestions are welcome in the comments ;).

So it’s confession time, although not earth-shattering, juicy, entertaining confession time.  I have a serious addiction.  I love to buy books.  I almost never read them though.  My bookshelves are those cube shelves from target that are divided into 11 3/4 inch cubes in various configurations.  I’ve got at least four cubes full of books on writing.  I’ve read maybe ten pages total out of all of them.  I have 8 cubes of Judaica books, I’ve read two cubes worth.  I’ve got five or six cubes of business text books, I’ve flipped through some of them.  I’ve got a cube and a half of Harry Potter….okay, well, I’ve read all of those, all three cubes of parenting books and most of the Dave Barry cube as well, but those are really the exception to the rule.  But anyhow, you get the point.  I am clearly spending a crap ton of money on books that I feel compelled to own but to never actually open after I get out of the bookstore.

Obviously this is not a sustainable habit in our current economic environment (poor) and the likelihood that I will somehow magically develop the time to read any of these books dwindles at an alarming rate on a daily basis.  But habits are hard to break, and I think I read in a book somewhere (I’ve got a couple cubes of self-help type books too, haha) that the easiest way to break a habit is to replace it with a new one.  So now when I get the urge to go browse the shelves of Barnes and Noble (seriously, this stuff is like crack to me, but without the weight loss and SWAT teams) instead I pick a book at random and pretend that I’m buying it all over again.  I read the back, open the cover, browse the chapter titles and look at a few pages here and there and convince myself that I’m really going to use this book so I remove it from the bookshelf and set it next to the computer where I will supposedly faithfully read it every single day until I finish it….or, in reality, leave it in a scary tower that piles up until Elijah pulls it over and then I put them all back in their places to be found again on another day.

Today’s book was “The Lie That Tells a Truth” from one of the writing cubes.  I’ve read the first couple pages and remember why it is that I bought it in the first place.  I highly recommend it based on the first three pages, the chapter titles and of course the front cover, which is how all books should be judged ;).  It is currently at the top of my pile and I am sure that I will faithfully read it every day until I am finished with it and it has transformed my life…or at least until tomorrow.

So there you have it, my attempt to turn an idiotic addiction into a slightly less expensive, but no less idiotic, habit.  After all, I’m not sure that it’s possible to use the habit replacing technique if the two habits are not equally stupid, but I’m not sure because I don’t think I made it through the entire page in the book that talked about it….


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